The theory of attachment was developed by the English psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the 1950s to capture different ways in which people go about forming intimate connections with others. This brief questionnaire aims to determine - to use Bowlby’s term - your particular and distinctive ‘attachment style’.


(1 / 4)

By chance, you meet someone attractive in a bookshop and exchange a few pleasant but not very consequential remarks. They leave by saying, ‘See you around.’ What do you do next?

(2 / 4)

You spend the night with a new partner that you like. When it’s time to part, what do you do?

(3 / 4)

Your partner of five years says they will be home by 8pm. It is 8.30pm and you haven’t heard anything from them. What do you think?

(4 / 4)

An old friend owes you some money and is late paying. What do you do?

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Results: Attachment theory divides humanity into three categories according to how we characteristically negotiate the challenges of being close to others. Your answers suggest you are:

Knowing that one’s way of relating to others carries a name is one step on the path towards greater self-knowledge and change where change feels necessary. Each of these patterns relates back to particular experiences in childhood and ways of having been parented. 50% of people in the US are estimated to be securely attached, with the other half divided into anxious and avoidant quarters. We don’t need to be free of psychological hurdles to deal with life, but knowing how to explain in good time who we are, and where we might be tricky, is a central to forming good enough relationships.

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